My mom said luckily her daughter is strong enough to carry almost 20 kg goods along the flight back to hometown. OMG...haha....I have so much strength.
While jogging with Bobby, I suddenly felt so lucky that I have healthy legs, which allow me to walk side by side/ shoulder to shoulder with the others or even run freely without much worries and burden like having others to pull my wheel chair. Suddenly, I felt like my existence is worthwhile. I feel lucky to have healthy limbs that I at least have some usefulness. I can lend other my hands, I can walk by myself, I can do anything I want just if I believe in myself.
I can't deny, I ever doubt whether I'm the true daughter at home, living such life doubtfully for about 10 years but I never reveal such feeling to anyone, but only the sky. Until recently, my mom mentioned a thing to me and finally make me certain that, I'm truly a daughter of hers. I hold my tears though I almost cried to hear those stories of hers. How tough she was to give birth to me. How much trouble I brought to her to have me born alive. You know why? Everyone was saying how I don't look alike with anyone whom has kinship with me, not just my siblings and parents, but relatives also. Imagine how those words go to your ears most of the time. Then my mom would even answer, "maybe I get the wrong one, there's a bumiputera giving birth near by me, the doctor have mistaken and gave me hers perhaps." They always said I looked like 'LAKIA'. That calling has suffered me for quite a long time. It hurts. I always pray to the sky, even if really in that case like what my mom mentioned, please allow my skin to become fairer, please give me strength, grant me magic. Haha...I know I was innocent. =P
Till now, I gain courage when I look into the sky. :) I think I've fallen in love with the sky.
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